Changed Forever

Dominique wrote our last entry on chapter
14, and is pictured here with her son and their
newly adopted dog, Thor.

In the 14th chapter of Roots of Empathy, the author Mary Gordon explains the importance of a baby’s first relationship with his parents. It is important for a baby to have a safe and healthy relationship in order to have a secure attachment. When a child’s needs are being met, he develops into a trusting young child and later into an adult who is able to have a healthy relationship with others.

During my childhood I can’t remember when or how often my mom read to me at night.  I know my dad never read to me because he suffers from dyslexia and he was always too embarrassed to read or help us with our homework. There wasn’t even a time when my mom sang lullabies to me before bed time. However, I had great parents considering some of the emotional needs that were not met when I was a child. I knew once I became a mom, everything would be different and I would be more emotionally connected with my children.

Gordon writes, “When we become parents, we are changed forever” (p. 210 ). This is exactly what happened when I became a mom in 2005. Something changed and I knew I was not the same person after giving birth to a beautiful little boy.  The first few years of his life he was always sleeping in my arms or in my lap. Every night before he went to sleep I rocked him while I sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Baby of Mine. He would often sleep on my chest and just recently he started going to sleep without me lying down with him in his bed! I started reading to him at a young age, now he enjoys reading and according to his teacher, he is an above- average student. At my parent teacher conference the other day, she explained to me that he is a good little boy with a tender heart. He is always helping other students with their work before he finishes his and he is always the first one to check on someone if he or she is crying.

This chapter really made me think about how easy it is to have a good relationship with your child, and I have a really hard time understanding why some parents can’t put forth the effort to create that relationship that all kids deserve. My relationship with my son is far different from the relationship I had with my parents when I was 6. I am grateful to have a son who is attentive to others’ needs and who is willing to put everyone before him. I hope that he will continue to have a tender heart towards everyone as he grows into a young man, and knowing I helped create such a loving and caring little boy puts a big smile on my face; I wouldn’t change our relationship for the world. He brings tears to my eyes every time I look at him and I am lucky and grateful to be his mom.