Genius!

Corrina, the author of this entry, as a baby.

You have all heard the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Well, I did. I knew by the name and cover of Roots of Empathy that I would be hooked the moment I began reading. I did not however, imagine that the book would be about such an amazing program. Bringing a new mother with her newborn baby into these classrooms to show the development of children in its rarest form is genius. The fact that these students in the Roots of Empathy classrooms get to watch a baby grow physically, mentally, emotionally and develop a relationship with its mother right before their eyes is the most hands-on way to teach empathy to our younger generations.

The first part in chapter 1 that really caught my attention was when eighth-grade Darren went out of his way to ask to hold baby Evan in the Snugli. The pure love Evan showed to Darren by snuggling up into him while strapped to his chest awakened something inside Darren, who had only ever seen the ugly and unloving side of the world. The question Darren asked Evan’s mother, “If nobody has ever loved you, do you think you could still be a good father?” made me think about the cycle of intergenerational abuse and neglect. Children learn through what they experience and what they see. Although parents tell children hundreds of rules they are to follow, the real lessons they are teaching them are what they are directly modeling. If Darren is only ever exposed to violence, hatred, crime, and inconsistency, that is all he is going to be able to know and manifest. But bringing a program like this one into classrooms lets the ‘Darrens’ of the world know that, yes, you can be an exceptional father and person and here is how you do it. Having this new knowledge and experience may have just broken Darren’s family’s cycle of neglect and violence.

Giving children a sense of citizenship and a genuine understanding of how their actions and/or words may affect another person could change the way our society treats one another for good. The first step in doing this is teaching children the concept of empathy at a young age. And because children learn through what they see, being part of a hands-on program such as this one is the best learning tool to accomplish this goal.

The next point in chapter 1 that stood out to me was when the author talked about the spontaneity and purity of children’s emotions and actions. I work as a pre-school teacher and see this on a daily basis. One morning I came to work after dealing with a very traumatic breakup the day before and I was not my normal happy self. While I was taking role, one of my students got out of her seat, which she knows she is not allowed to do, and sat on my lap. She asked me, “Teacher Corrina, are you sad?” I replied, “Yes, Amelia, I am very sad this morning.” She then said, “It’s ok to be sad, Teacher. But don’t be because I love you and Jesus loves you.” After that she embraced me, and I her. She did not worry about the fact that she needed to stay seated at this time, she didn’t know whether or not I was upset because of something she might have done, and she did not know whether I believed in Jesus or not. All this child knew was that I was upset and she was drawn to that emotion. The author mentioned that this program allows the baby to take the role of the teacher and although I am the teacher, Amelia taught me something through that interaction. She taught me that if you feel someone is upset and might be in need of a hug or simply justification of their feelings, to help them with that. Everyone has dealt with hardships in their lives and has needed someone to acknowledge and validate those feelings. Children don’t act on the ‘what ifs’ in life, they are spontaneous and pure, as Mary mentioned. It is only when our society teaches them to ignore negative feelings, to not bother someone who seems upset or, even more detrimental, to discriminate who they talk to or comfort based on race, class, or characteristics of that nature that they lose that spontaneity. Children see everyone as human beings; they do not see skin color or designer jeans. With their innocence and purity they can teach us many things about genuinely caring for one another; they can teach us to be empathetic.

I look forward to reading the remainder or this book because it has already greatly inspired me. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be a family therapist and put my main focus on the needs of the children in the families I would see. I have started to think more about going into the Parenting field. I want to help teach mothers and fathers how to bring their children up with love, empathy, and encouragement in order to prevent situations that bring families into therapy in the first place. The Roots of Empathy program is something I would love to be a part of, and if Fresno was ever to adopt this program, I would jump on board right away because I know the impact it can have on our future generations. I hope this book inspires you as much as it has me.