Temperament and Empathy

This is Hnou, the author of this entry,
as a child with her older sister. Hnou
is on the left, and her sister is about one year
older than her. She said their mom always
dressed them alike.

A child’s temperament has a direct relation to the development of empathy and is a strong determining factor in how a child responds to certain situations.  An important method of the Roots of Empathy program allows children to observe the temperaments of babies, in turn creating an environment in which these children are comfortable with discussing their own temperament.  

The importance of this rests in the fact that it helps create an understanding of the different personalities that children have.  Not all children are the same.  Each child has his own identity and his own personality.  My own experience has taught me that each child is quite special and adoring in her own way.  I have a 3 year old niece who is the sweetest little toddler one can imagine, but when she doesn’t get her way, she definitely knows what buttons to push to get what she wants.  I also have a 2 year old niece who is the fiercest and most physical toddler I’ve ever handled.  When I’m around each of them, I am aware of the differences in their personalities.  I know that treating them the same will just not do.  Because I know their temperaments are different, I am able to communicate with each of them in the best way possible way to keep them - and me! - from getting frustrated. 

With each niece, I know where my boundaries lie and I know when those boundaries need to be crossed.  Each niece deals with her feelings in her own ways.  My 3 year old niece likes to cry when she doesn’t get her way and my 2 year old niece likes to throw tantrums. Since I’ve already become an expert in dealing with their personalities, I’m equipped to handle their mood swings.   

What’s important to take from this is that all children are different in how they react to situations.  Sometimes the smallest amount of change can be exciting and even horrific, but understanding that children may react in ways different from one another is an important part of the Roots of Empathy program. 

Teaching young children about the possibilities of different temperaments is great in that it also helps them to open up about their own feelings.  Sometimes it may be more detrimental to keep one’s feelings all bottled up inside.  As a child, I was always open about my feelings and was really an emotional person.  I could see however that many of my closest friends liked keeping their emotions to themselves.  Sometimes I felt as though I wanted to help them, but I couldn’t because they wouldn’t open up to me.  I understood though that their way of coping was to keep their feelings to themselves.  I was always an open and straightforward person, but I understood that people had their own personalities and their own ways to cope. 

The best way to develop empathy is to understand it and experience it.  To do so, children must observe it and be able to recognize it and be comfortable enough to communicate it.