Change

Gabby, the author of our second entry on chapter 15, is
pictured here with her sister, Destiny, and her mom. She
is the very cool child in sunglasses.

In Chapter 15, Changing the World Child by Child, Mary Gordon addressed the issue of Change.  Change in society, change in our ways of thinking, change in action, and implementing change with the most powerful tool of all: Empathy.   In our world, empathy is not a word that’s discussed often, let alone understood by the people who do not possess it.  Empathy is our ability to understand and relate to the feelings and viewpoints of others.  It is a quality that is lacking in today’s society.  I agree with Gordon when she says that our world is plagued by war and poverty, and little to no emphasis is being placed on children and the great possibilities that lie within them.  The Roots of Empathy program sees the potential for change in this world through the smallest people that inhabit it. 

This program sees the importance of teaching children to express their feelings and emotions in healthy ways.  Children are our future.  We must provide them with the best future possible, no matter what the cost.  Reading about this program was so enlightening.  I loved the fact that this program has allowed teachers to provide children with this excellent learning experience.  It allows for children to learn the importance of the parent child relationship, and learn positive life skills in the process.  One of the most moving things I encountered while reading this book was the reaction that children had to the baby, and the effect the baby had on children that seemed to be struggling.  Children who had never experienced love and affection were transformed when they had the opportunity to interact with the baby.  To think that some children never experience love growing up is very troublesome.

Growing up, my mom was my biggest role model.  She told me that I should always express myself, and stand up for what I believe in, no matter how “uncool” everyone else thought it may be.  I didn’t understand what empathy was until I got into high school.  Looking back on my early childhood, I was always the little girl in class who stood up for her friends, even if that meant not being part of the “popular” crowd.  One of my earliest memories of this was when I was about 7 years old, and I was participating in Girl Scouts.  At one of our troop meetings, our troop leaders informed us that we were going to have a Father-Daughter Dance, and that we had to bring our dads with us.  Because my parents had just gone through a divorce, I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to go because my dad wasn’t married to my mom anymore.  My parents later explained to me that their divorce wouldn’t stop my dad from going to my dance.  My best friend, Heather, was also in the same Girl Scout troop as me.  At our next Girl Scout meeting, some of the other girls were making fun of her for not having a dad.  Her dad had never been in her life, and the other girls were teasing her relentlessly about it.  I remember I went up to the girls and told them that it didn’t matter if she didn’t have her dad to take to the dance, because she was going to share my dad for the dance.  When my dad picked me up from my meeting, I remember asking him if he would take her to the dance with us, and of course he said yes.  Heather and I had such similar upbringings that I was able to understand her pain and the hurt that she went through by not having her dad around.  It’s extremely difficult for little girls to grow up without having a positive male figure in their lives.  Although I didn’t realize it until high school, I had become a very empathetic child from an early age.  I was very fortunate to have a mother who was my best teacher and provided a great support system for my sister and me.

Unfortunately, not all children are as lucky as we are.  Many children are born into families who lack the knowledge to properly care for them, and do not know how to enhance development.  Like Gordon, I agree that these families should be provided with the tools to succeed.  If we can’t help them, who will?  Most parents learn their parenting skills from their home lives growing up, and the majority of these parents will go on to parent in the same way.  If the proper tools and information are not provided to these struggling parents, the cycle will continue.  We aren’t just setting the parents up for failure, we are also setting the children up for a struggle that could have been avoided if someone would’ve taken an interest.    If more people in this world took the time to understand how their actions affect the lives and feelings of others, we would live in a more peaceful place.

This book definitely opened my eyes to the possibilities of change.  Many of us assume that older children, unlike young children, have trouble learning new skills like empathy, and the ability to share their feelings.  These are qualities that can always be learned, no matter how difficult of a childhood we may have had.  If we take the time to show children love, we have the ability to change their life.  Children are the key to our future, and we have to pave the way for them and help them become all they can be, which begins in their early years of life.