Better Safe than Sorry

Flor wrote our second entry on
chapter 12. Here she is as a child, with
her head safely protected!

In chapter twelve of Mary Gordon’s Roots of Empathy, Gordon talks about children also being great promoters for infant safety. Gordon describes that as babies grow in their first year of life, so does the number of potential threats to their safety. The students in the Roots of Empathy program are encouraged to discuss and learn about the dangers that a parent should be aware of.

In the first part of the chapter, Gordon discusses Crying and Safety. This brought me back to when my niece, Lily, was first born and brought home. Since the very day she was born, I have been as involved with her as I could possibly be. I can’t imagine not being with her, and I most certainly do not remember being without her. She has easily become the most important little lady in my life. I remember when she was first brought home and she seemed like such a “good baby,” only crying when she was hungry, or needed to be changed. Within a month or two, her cries began to mean much more. Lily always loved to be held and talked to, which was absolutely adorable, to me at least. My sister, her mother, had a completely different approach. She was a “tough love” kind of mom. “Let her cry, or she will get used to getting held,” she’d say, or “Let her sleep in her crib, so she doesn’t get used to sleeping in my bed.” All these things seemed appalling to me because I just wanted to cater to Lily’s every need so a strong attachment could be formed. I had to keep in mind that my sister was only 16 when she gave birth, and I, as the older sister, had to be there to help my little sister and guide her with what little knowledge I had. I always talked to my sister about letting me know when she wanted me to take the baby if she was frustrated, or angry, or tired, because I was very scared of shaken baby syndrome or neglectfulness. Fortunately, my sister took me up on my offer, and I helped her as much as I could before heading to college. Now that my niece is 5 and loves babies, I try to make her aware of how she should hold a baby to avoid shaken baby syndrome. She loves telling others to be careful because babies are so tiny that they need extra love.

The next section spoke about Sleep and Safety. This one really hit home. The first three months after my niece’s arrival, I think I lost as much sleep as my sister. I woke up with them every single time just to make sure Lily was ok. I had learned about SIDS in high school, and was terrified that this could happen to my very little niece. It was almost an obsession to wake up and make sure my little one was still breathing and sleeping on her back. I was very thankful to have learned about it in high school, and my sister had just learned about it through her doctor during her pregnancy.

A safe home continued to be a main priority as Lily got older. She was such an active and playful toddler that she absolutely needed to be watched. Like every child, she learned through touch and observation, so things definitely ended up in her mouth. Luckily, she never choked on anything or gave us a close scare. Now that she is older, even Lily knows the importance of keeping a safe home because she has puppies. She is very careful about closing doors, and picking up small pieces. Needless to say, she will be a great older sister when the time comes.

I absolutely love this book and agree with Gordon’s perspective. I feel we would be truly blessed if our own children and families could experience such an amazing program as the Roots of Empathy.  It seems that if more and more schools offered something like this, more children would be aware. This is very important for cultures and ethnicities that rely on their children for translation and new knowledge because they don’t speak English. Educating these children does not only leave the knowledge with them, but also to all they share it with, and that is an amazing thing.