Bullying: Why Does it Happen to Me?



Jade wrote our second
entry on chapter 11,
and said she picked
this photo of herself
because "I look
happy, and it shows
that I can get over
my past, and not
let my past reflect
my current life or
future."



            In the eleventh chapter of Mary Gordon’s book, Roots of Empathy, Gordon says, “Bullying is fundamentally an act of cruelty” (p. 170).  This is a nationwide problem that many children grow up dealing with, and from personal experience, bullying is a major issue that exists in our school systems today.  As a child development major, I have taken many courses that actually helped me recognize that home life can be the cause of bullying.  A parenting class taught me that harsh punishments are not the correct methods to constantly resort to when it comes to disciplining.  Gordon says, “If conflicts in the home are solved by the use of force or by controlling or bullying behavior, that is the model the child will learn to use in his own relationships with others” (p. 173).  If children see bullying and rough activity happening in their household, they act the same way at school because they think it is an acceptable way to treat people. 

            Mary Gordon did present one case that made me think twice about bullying.  She explains, “In incidents of bullying, that may mean the bully-and sometimes even the victim-is suspended, given detentions, or otherwise isolated.  This may create the perception of direct action being taken, but it is ineffective in bringing about any lasting change” (p. 175).  Gordon then goes on to explain that once these actions are taken, the bullied or the one doing the bullying do not learn.  They aren’t given the opportunity to learn about the causes and effects of bullying and when being isolated from others, they tend to not think of the mistakes they previously made.  I can personally relate to this because growing up, the peers who bullied me often repeated the act, even after disciplinary actions were taken.

            I remember my 6^th grade year like it was yesterday.  I was 11 years old and starting a new school in a new home town.  I didn’t know anyone, but was excited to meet new people.  I was the kid who entered puberty earlier than everyone else, so by this age, I seemed to be almost 5 inches taller than the rest of my classmates.  I also had acne while other kids my age didn’t have any yet.  I was called every name imaginable for my tallness and acne.  All my classmates fed off of each other and it seemed like they plotted against me.  I remember I would come home from school crying to my parents about how the kids at school would hurt my feelings.  They would get in trouble, but that never seemed to help.  Gordon explained that “The toxic effects of bullying will not be solved by punitive measures and isolation, or even worse, by placing the bully in a holding tank with other offenders and no alternative models” (p. 175).  I really related to this particular sentence because it spoke the most truth to me while I was reading this chapter.  I now know that it was an issue in school that many kids deal with and as I’ve grown up, I know to not take my past bullying to heart.   

            When I grow up, I want to become a teacher, and I know that I will be dealing with issues regarding bullying in my own classroom.  I think the next generation will be worse, too, since technology has progressed so much.  Cyberbullying is the new concern, and “through the faceless medium of e-mail, chat rooms, and cell phone text messaging, bullies can stealthily target their victims, terrorizing them with threats and exposing them to ridicule and humiliation” (p. 170).  This chapter has inspired me to make a difference through my career and stop bullying from happening in the school systems.  I know this will be hard, but getting involved with other teachers who feel the same way can make a difference.