Emotions - The Language of the Heart

Blanca R wrote this first entry on chapter 8. These are her
happy sons when her oldest graduated from kindergarten.
I wonder if he's eaten that candy yet...! 

Schools today are so focused on academic achievement that they forget there are little people with feelings who feel stressed about doing well in school. Children not only worry about their education but they worry about everything else that revolves around them. Some children are better at expressing what they feel than others. Sadly, some children are getting the message that not showing empathy and expressing negative emotions to others is ok. Children are being exposed to too much violence on TV and in their everyday life, and it is being transmitted into the schools. Recently there has been a devastating pattern of bullying across the nation. Children are afraid to speak up if someone at school is bullying them and this affects their overall performance in and out of school. Bullying can be a very sensitive topic. Therefore, I agree that children should be exposed more at school to forums for freely discussing their emotions, and according to Gordon, “understanding and expressing our emotions in appropriate ways” (p.117). They need to learn that showing their emotions is not a sign of weakness, nor is it anything to be embarrassed about. Children who can express their own emotions can use this important instrument to give them a voice needed to succeed in school as well as in their everyday life.                                                                                       

Not only should it be important to discuss emotions at school, but it is also very important to begin discussing them at home. There may be many reasons why parents don’t talk or show emotions to their children. One reason may be parents didn’t have the opportunity to take parenting classes or might be unaware that there are parent workshops on child development in their community. Gordon mentions they have a program where parents are taught the importance of being a part of their children’s development, and this is great. But what happens to those children whose parents didn’t get that opportunity? It was also interesting to read that if children don’t have a safe, supportive environment, it is even much harder for them to express their emotions.  When emotions are not discussed in the home, parents may not be aware of how their children are feeling.  Children learn through imitation, so who better to role model empathy than their parents?

It came to mind that in my family emotions was not a topic that was discussed. As a family we didn’t show or say how much we loved each other, or what we thought about one another. It was difficult to express our feelings. Not being able to do so made life more complicated for me in many ways, so I can relate somewhat to this chapter. As a young adult, I found out that was how my parents were raised, so not expressing emotions for loved ones had become a cycle that I chose to break with my own children.

An emotion can be expressed verbally or nonverbally, and if children don’t get the message, then they feel they are not loved and may find it harder to love back. Emotions can help us think and behave in a way that can be healthy for our lives. We can learn from babies, as mentioned in the book, but we can also learn from each other. As Gordon indicated, “It is cool to care.” (p.128)