"Life is Like a Box of Chocolates"

Christine wrote this last entry for chapter 6,
and this is her "silly" daughter. Christine said that
her daughter thought it would be more fun to
stick her tongue out for the camera than it would
be to smile. I have to say that I agree! :)

            The iconic movie Forrest Gump coined the phrase “Mama said life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you’re gonna get.”  As expectant parents, this is especially true. There are many times when we wonder how our child will look and behave, but the truth eludes us until they are actually born. Before the child is born, we have a set of expectations of how they will grow up, how they will look, how they will behave, but as “Mama” put it, “We never know what we’re gonna get.” During my pregnancies, especially with my first child, I wondered every day if my child was going to be energetic like me or shy and quiet like her dad. Reading the chapter Temperament: Getting to Know You, made me think of my children and my parenting skills. I remember family members often telling me that my life would change and how difficult being a parent was going to be. Often times when there were many parents present, the common consensus was that they did not want more children as more children equated to higher levels of stress. With many people telling me this, I often felt scared of becoming a parent. I wondered if my children were going to cry and scream a lot or keep me up all night. After having children, I agree that my life has changed, but for the better. What used to be all about me and my needs has become all about the needs of my children. Although being a parent can be stressful at times, I’ve learned to be patient and to understand their needs and expectations.

            In this chapter, Gordon talks about the different temperament traits of each child and that they vary from child to child. These traits impact our abilities and how we learn or interact with one another. I agree with Gordon when she states that “understanding temperament is key to understanding the way our children react” (p. 85). What I love about this statement is that it gives reassurance to parents who feel like a failure because their child isn’t behaving like they expected. There are many times that I feel this way as well. When my child is fussy and moving around a lot in her high chair, my first thought is not, “That’s just her temperament, she has a high activity level.” Instead, I’m thinking she’s being naughty! This chapter has given me a better understanding of my child’s behavior and why she acts the way she does. Every day is a learning process for the both of us. I learn to listen and understand her needs and to adjust my traits to fit hers. For instance, my daughter has a high activity level and if given the opportunity, she would dance all day long. Every time she hears music or any kind of beat, she would be up dancing and dragging anyone close to her to do so as well.

“Mama” had it right: “We never know what we’re gonna get.” Each child is unique and they all come into this world with different personalities. We should not expect them to fit into and accommodate our lifestyles, but instead consider changing or assimilating ourselves to fit theirs. What I love about this chapter is that it helps adults to better understand children. Instead of blaming a child for their bad behavior, understanding their temperament allows us to help them in certain situations.