Understanding Temperament

This is Ariseli, who wrote this chapter 6 entry,
and her 2-year-old niece, Ashley. Looks
like Ashley kinda likes her aunt...and that the
feelings are mutual!

In Chapter 6 of The Roots of Empathy, Gordon mentions that all children are born with different temperaments and this is the reason why they act in certain ways. Something that parents need to be aware of is that they can’t change their child’s temperament. Temperament is unchangeable. The nine temperament traits are Activity Level, Intensity, Sensitivity, First Reaction, Adaptability, Mood, Frustration Reaction, Distractibility, and Rhythmicity. All nine traits combine to form three types of temperaments that include easy, difficult and somewhere in between. Understanding temperament is important because it gives parents a better understanding of why children behave a certain way. 

Gordon believes that, “understanding temperament is a valuable insight and essential in building strong relationships” (p.80).  I agree with Gordon because I believe that it is important for parents to understand their child’s temperament, as well as their own temperament and the temperament of others. When parents are aware of their own temperament it can help them develop a more effective parent-child relationship. I believe that it can help parents communicate better with their child. It can also help parents understand why their child is behaving a certain way. In addition, I believe that it can help parents find a more effective discipline approach that will work better for their child.

Gordon also mentions that it is important that we are aware of and understand our own temperament. Sometimes the parent’s temperament is completely different from their baby’s temperament. This can be an issue because it can make it hard for the parent to understand and relate to what the child is going through. However, when the parent and child have similar temperaments it can benefit both because the parent might be able to relate to the things that trigger the child. Gordon describes this as a “Goodness of fit,” which is a relationship between the parent and the child that helps them make a better connection.

The reading made me think of my niece Ashley who is 2 years old. After reading the descriptions of the temperament types it made me realize my niece falls into the category of “difficult to take care of.” She has a high activity level and this explains why she can’t sit still on my lap. I also learned that the reason why she cries loudly when she is upset is probably because she has a high level of intensity. Now that I am familiar and aware of the nine traits I am able to understand why she acts a certain way.  Based on the reading I also learned that we shouldn’t describe temperament types in a negative way. Parents should never use labels such as “cry baby.” Instead parents should respond to the child’s temperament in a positive way. “Parents who have a baby with a number of difficult temperament traits learn the importance of accepting them and helping to manage them” (p.98). I agree with Gordon and I believe parents should accept their child’s temperament.  Parents should be good role models and help their child manage her temperament.